I have now changed to syringe style needles and have found it so much easier to inject myself as I have more control over what's happening!
However with the stress of losing Dad my stomach is back to where i was a few weeks ago, and leaving the house is becoming stressful again. I hope things change for the better soon x
So on Christmas eve I went to visit my father, after trying to enter his home a few times to deliver is birthday presents and Christmas cards, but having had no luck getting in I become worried. Dad lived in the same street as the police station so I popped in to ask for advice. An officer and myself went back to dad's home and he confirmed what I had been ignoring....post was lying on the mat at the door. A few minutes later reinforcements come to gain access to Dad's. The door was smashed in while I stood crying in the street watching chirstmas and police lights refect in my family homes now dark windows. I watched the small light of the police torch dissapere in to his bedroom, moments later the lady office came out, I asked 'is dad's okay' Thinking he must be cross that door is smashed in!!
She simply said 'no dear' and hugged me.
Now I just feel different, I am with out a dad and that feels not right. He is not there where he has always been no matter what happened between us...good or bad...I knew he'd be there and now he's not!
My stomach feels sunken and empty, I feel sorrow and guilt. Most of all I miss him.
